Finding my passion...

Currently my quest is to find my passion.If you are wondering why suddenly I am on my new quest, the reason is my husband has his passion and I am left to spend time with TV watching hours and hours of fashion TV and makeover shows. It suddenly dawned to me there is nothing in my life that I want to do with passion. Then I realised I don't have a passion...now this is what it is after more than 3 decades on this earth I do not have a passion.

As I thought a little harder I found the reason I did not have a passion was D. Almost for half a decade, D was my passion, wanting to spend time with him, missing him, pining for him. He had 200% of my attention that everything else was out of my sight and my mind. Now being married to him for over 3.5 yrs and knowing every night that I will see him the first thing in the morning, my mind has now some free time.Which of course I have been spending watching meaningless shows on TV for hours.

It was couple of weekends ago, I was bored and D was locked in with his passion, oh..before you guys assume who/what his passion is,his passion is his music :) . All TV channels in the world were airing infomercials. I slouched on the couch and wondered what I wanted to do that would make me get out off the stupid couch and nothing came to my mind..yes nothing.I'd rather lay there watching mindless shows on TV. It hit me, hit me hard that I had no passion.And hence started my quest. Right now my passion is to find a passion.I hope I will find something I would like to do ...no, I would love to do.

Now with the mention of things I love to do, there are a few things I absolutely love to do.I mean things like Shopping, Spending endless hours in a spa, Sleeping.But I am guessing these probably doesn't qualify as being a passion!or do they?

So I decided to start to find my passion. Something I would enjoy to do. I wanted to try reading. Until almost a few years ago, I was a avid reader.Any book I come through had to be read. But slowly I was getting bored with routine fiction. I moved to philosophical books and then to biographies and then to no books. Decided to rekindle the love for reading and where else to start than my favorite book haunt Chapters. Love the ambiance and the cozy Starbucks coffee shop.Hmm..it was appealing, couldn't wait to go.

On a rainy Saturday I declared to D, I was going out alone to find my passion. He dint even lift his head up to see me. He has seen many declarations like this from me and he was sure I was going to be home even before he would realise I was gone. I braved the winds and the rain and was at Chapters.

Was overwhelmed by what to pick.Fiction, biographies, travel, adventure...I decided to go by my gut feeling. Picked up 'The Night Tourist' by Katherine Marsh , hadn't heard of the author before.Most of the time unknown authors are better than the known ones. Please excuse me if she isn't unknown, it proves how much I have read recently. And then stopped at the Bestseller section, saw 'Angels and Demons' .Haven't read any of Dan Brown's books yet. Picked it up as well. Paid for the books and went to the coffee shop in the store. It was jam packed.Bought a lemon and poppy seed loaf and hot coffee and settled in the corner under the photogrpahy section. It was by the window, the occasional tapping of rain on the window, soft lemon and poppy seed loaf and warm coffee...hmm wonder why I didn't do this before?

Started reading 'The Night Tourist' , just as I getting into the story and loved my cozy corner spot in the bookstore, my cell started to ring. It was D. "Where are you?" ..."I told you I was going to the bookstore"..."But its been more than 20 mins" he sounded surprised I was still at the bookstore. "OK come soon". There you go, I did something that even D noticed, that means I probably am really interested.

As I write this blog, I have nearly finished the book. And am compiling a must read books now, my dear readers please feel free to leave your suggestions for 'do not miss' book list.

Closing this post with a quote from a German poet Hebbel
"Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion."